Rescue Kitty

Seeing this image brought back memories. I had rescued a kitten that was abandoned by his mother and kept it in my brother’s computer room, since I had no personal space growing up. Kitty used to walk all over his keyboard and had apparently ruined the settings of Linux kernel configurations that he was working on and he had to start all over again. 

Memory of this incident brought up a few things I was deprived of growing up, which is ok, it cannot be changed now. What really bothers me is that, while he is still doing what he loves, to this day, I am not. And I don’t think it is wise to give up my job to rescue animals, I am not that well off. Or am I?

The sacrifices that needs to be made to do what I love is too high, I will have to live in an environment I feel is highly intrusive, I don’t think I can give my baby a good life, or have a good personal life. Although there are a few things I can do - rescue animals into my home, donate money to the charities I trust, volunteer in animal rescues and get accustomed to that lifestyle.

Challenge

Since I was very young, I’ve converted naysayers words into challenges and as a stimulant to achieve. 

But it usually comes as a surprise , and close to home.

I keep the hurt lingering to keep the stimulant active, because when you numb the pain, you forget the cause. 
Forgive but never forget!

Peace

Game of Thrones or Mahabharata, it all sums up to be glorified family feuds. Perhaps being peaceful makes us humans so bored. When a true epic is made on why war is wrong no matter the cause, would it really have audience? I can't help wonder.. Perhaps there is already one, and was dismissed to be "uneventful" and "boring"??

Chase

The race against time...
Will it ever end,
until the very end???

Change

I need a plan
An EXIT strategy
Very clearly orchestrated

Not jumping into rash decisions
Rather, a slow transition
from what I am
to what I am capable of

Socialize

Feign interest or be rude.

When presented with these 2 options,

I often pick the self destructive one.

It is easier to deal with myself,

Than to cause hurt to someone else

If you do have like minded folk around you,

Consider yourself very lucky.

I can assure you, not everyone does.

If you are one such extrovert,

do give us some insight.

The Truth

It can hit you hard
when you are on a realization

When you seek to know the truth,
to understand the consequences of 
the choices you made,

you might even find out -
what a hypocrite you have been
your own self scoffing at you for being one

But ignoring the truth, does not
make it disappear.
Nor will you have personal growth.

A lion does not hunt for fun
Nature is not wrong

You can only choose from 
the choices available to you at hand
When you do so,
ask yourself - "at what expense?"
and accept.

Serve 2

when you have to serve two,
neither will be satisfied.
Nor will you, if you pay heed.
All you can do is:
.... work to your satisfaction.

joy

unspoken tears...
discovered and kissed away,
can life be any sweeter?
says the troubled heart.

Surprise!!!!

Surprise comes in 2 different packages. Not a bit of common trait, except for the word 'surprise'
one, comes in when u least expect it
second, doesn't when you most expect
Best you could do: don't look for #1 to happen. if it doesn't, it not only brings in #2, but makes it worse.

New Year 2010

Self Observation

Oddly enough, I seem to update this blog only when I am emotional - both extremes. Guess you can figure that out when you read these posts yourself.

Especially, when I am trying to regain my stability, I feel this urge of giving a form to my feelings... I write, or I draw or do something to snap myself out of it or as a channel to exude the overflowing emotion. Not sure if this is good or bad... so far, it seems good, except for the fact that everyone gets to read it if I happen to blog that time :)

cocoon

It was dark and gloomy

I could hardly breath

It felt warm and safe

I hugged myself closer together

Is it a tomb or cocoon?

can't really say...

I weaved it

I stayed in

choices were made

results unknown

will I fail?

or will I fly?
shall wait and see...

Courtesy image: http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4567549/57331_Full.jpg

Ever heard of 'Stars smiling upon you'?

A mischievous smile,

aware of a mysterious secret;

knowing the answers we couldn't figure out,

glancing at the future we can't see

Here is our 'smiley sky'

that'll stay forever in our memory

(Courtesy image: NASA)

Good & Evil

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance"

- Socrates

Do I agree with this?

Certainly not.

Perhaps I would, if I knew what deep thought lead Socrates say it.

May be, he thought that, knowing what is good and what is evil, will refrain people from doing evil deeds. 

Although, I am amused, when people do things, fully knowing its impact. It makes me think, they get evil pleasures in their deeds. Perhaps the new rule of the game is "Who wins" rather than "Who does it right". Or may be this is the rule all along and I wasn't aware of it.

Am I in a different world than that living by people who agree with Socrates?

Nightfall

The moon went hiding...
1,2,3,4...

"No peeking" said the flower
sweating with dew drops

"where shud I hide?"
"breeze, take me someplace moon cannot find"

"I have no power to pluck u flower"
"and no heart to take u away"

5,6,7,8...

"oh come on, there is no time"

wind took her, all the way beneath the rock
who won this game? Flower cudn't answer...

Life

When life unfolds its mystery upon you
Don't be aghast...
Nor be in denial...
Take it in you and experience the hurt
For hurt makes you grow...

Life is not unfair
It teaches you in its own way
For its hands are hard but heart tender
Smile until you light up a heart
You will feel the warmth in you

- me

Art

If only you know how beautiful the world can get, you will love to learn art... It changes your perspectives completely. You will start noticing beauty in small things like shapes of fallen leaves on pathway, pattern of light rays penetrating through the trees, eyes of the child that glances at you in the bus... the list goes on and on...

3 hours that I spend in my drawing class flies away. Mind gets free of thoughts. I feel renewed after every drawing session. I always find myself hopefully looking forward to it...

One doesn't need any special talent to make a beautiful sketch. Except if you consider patience to be one :-)

I'm just a beginner... long way to go... here is one of my homework :)

(I took this model to draw from web)

Kill Bill

My favorite dialogue from a favorite movie...

Bill: Mommy is still angry at Daddy.
B.B.: Why?
Bill: Well sweety, I love Mommy, but I did to Mommy what you did to Emilio.
B.B.: You stomped on Mommy?
Bill: Worse. I shot Mommy. Not pretend shoot, like we were just doing. I shot her for real.
B.B.: Why? Did you want to see what would happen?
Bill: No, I knew what would happen to Mommy if I shot her. What I didn't know is, when I shot Mommy, what would happen to me.
B.B.: What happened?
Bill: I was very sad. And that was when I learned, some things, once you do, they can never be undone.

Fly high in the beautiful sky

"The man who has no imagination has no wings"

I always tend to give some picture for my feelings... which people sometimes call weird :)
You may ask, what kind of pictures?
When I am peacefully happy, I see myself swing
sometimes I stand at the summit with my hands open
You see... it feels really good to be weird...

I want my pictures to speak and I want my words to create visions.

Which one of these will be more expressive? Aren't both equally good?

This reminds me of a game called "Eamon Adventure", which I used to play with my brother during my primary school days. There were no graphics used. You can play the game by purely imagining it.

Here is the wiki link for you to ponder through:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eamon_(computer_game)

Gotto go back to find the key to my world of dreams... tata

Love and War

Many centuries ago, in the days of the Samurai, a book was written in Japan about the spiritual art of the Sword: Impassive Understanding, also known as The Treatise of Tahlan, which was the name of its author (whowas both a fencing master and a Zen monk) I have adapted a few sections below:

Keeping Calm: Anyone who understands the meaning of life knows that things have neither a beginning nor an end, and that there is, therefore, no point in worrying. Fight for what you believe in without trying to prove anything to anyone; maintain the same silent calm of someone who has had the courage to choose his own destiny.
This applies to both love and war.

Allowing your heart to be present: Anyone who trusts his ability to say the right thing at the right time, in the correct use of the body, becomes deaf to the 'voice of the heart'. This can only be heard when we are in complete harmony with the world around us, and never when we judge ourselves to be the center of the universe.
This applies to both love and war.

Learning to be the other person: We are so focussed on what we judge to be the best attitude that we forget something very important: in order to attain our objectives, we need other people. It is necessary, therefore, not only to observe the world, but to imagine ourselves into the skins of other people, and to learn how to follow their thoughts.
This applies to both Love and war.

Finding the right master: Our path will always cross that of the other people who, out of love or pride, want to teach us something. How can we distinguish the friend from the manipulator? The answer is simple: the true teacher is not the one who shows is the ideal path, but the one who shows is the many ways of reaching the road we need to travel if we are to find our destiny. once we have found that road, the teacher cannot help us anymore, because its challenges are unique.
This applies to neither love nor war, but unless we understand it, we will never get anywhere.

Escaping from threats: We often think that the ideal attitude is that of giving up one's life for a dream. Nothing could be further from the truth. In order to achieve a dream, we need ot preserve our life, and we must, therefore, know how to avoid those things that threaten us. The more we plan our steps, the more chance there is that we will go wrong, because we are failing to take into consideration four things: other people, life's teachings, passion, and calm. The more we feel we are in control of things, the farther off we are from controlling anything. A threat does not issue any warning, and a swift reaction cannot be planned like a Sunday afternoon walk.
Therefore, if you want to be in harmony with your love or with your fight, learn to react rapidly. Through educated observation, do not allow your supposed experience of life to transform you into a machine. Use that experience to listen always to 'the voice of the heart'. Even if you do not agree with what that voice is saying, respect it and follow its advice: it knows when to act and when to avoid action.
This applies to both love and war

Story

'The reason the king is so powerful is because he's made a pact with the devil', a devout woman told the boy, and he was intrigued.

Some time later, when he was travelling to another town, the boy heard a man beside him remark: 'All this land belongs to the same man. I'd say the devil had a hand in that.'

Late one summer afternoon, a beautiful woman walked past the boy.'That woman is in the service of satan!' cried a preacher angrily.

From then on the boy decided to seek the devil out, and when he found him, he said:'They say you can make people powerful, rich and beautiful.

''Not really,' replied the devil. 'You've just been listening to the views of those who are trying to promote me.'

- Paulo Coelho in "Like the Flowing River"

Path

Any path is only a path,

and there is no affront, to oneself or to others,

in dropping it if that is what yout heart tells you...

Look at every path closely and deliberately.

Try it as many times as you think necessary.

Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question...

Does this path have a heart?

If it does, the path is good;

if it doesn't it is of no use.

- Carlos Casteneda,The teachings of Don Juan

Back after a Long absense

After a Looooooonnnngg absence, I'm back in full form.
There are many reasons for this absence... I won't bother u with it... lets just get on with our life :)
I rejected the first opportunity I got to come to France. This was due to the riots at France and my family's concern. After that, I had to wait one long year to get back the opportunity.I'm lucky that opportunity knocked my door again :)
Roaming aroung in Paris is a wonderful experience. No matter where you go, you see something eye-catching!!! I mean... the art and architecture... 'coz if i were a guy, i wud have mentioned "eye catching French babes" too ;-)
Thought of sharing some rare snaps I took there... enjoy...

Angel above the opera hall...

Children posing... though not to me!! ;-)

When Psychology comes in Photography!!!

I was wandering in the web as usual, and I stumbled upon this page...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsuler/

Hats off to John Suler!!

Sea side drive

Moments frozen in time... It gives you pleasant memories.
Moments when you feel that there is a perfect blend of your soul with the soul of the world.
This morning, I experienced it.
Yes!! A view of beautiful sea shore with a gentle drizzle and cool breeze...
Listening to my favorite songs from nano...
What else can be more beautiful??

(I came back from Pondicherry to Chennai in the East coast road early this morning.)

moonlit sea

First time in my life, I watched the sea in full moon light...
“Ecstasy” would be the right word to describe what I felt.

Shimmering sea, roared as it splashed on the rocks,
busily turning it into sand...

the rock was losing a millionth part of himself,
to the sea, who was trying to reach the moon,
failed and hit him instead!!

I couldn't speak a word for a long time...
sat silently on one of the rocks
and stared at the mighty beauty
If u wanna feel what I felt, Go to a beach on a full moon night!!!

Halcyon days - part 1

7 of us... we have less than a month of staying together!!!
2 years of limitless pranks and growing up is going to come to an end...
my heart feels heavy... may be because it carries all these loved ones...
looks like most of my meager weight comes from there.
my friend uma calls it "giant wheel effect" her stomach seems to churn about our days of living together coming to an end.
Afterall change is a partner of life uma... it is a dedicated wife to life :(

Dream again!!!

I slept, and dreamt that life was beauty;

I woke, and found that life was duty.

Was thy dream then a shadow lie?

Toil on, poor heart, unceasingly,

And thou shalt find thy dream to be

A noonday light and truth to thee.

-Ellen S. Hooper

Have you ever dreamed you were a butterfly?

Fluttering here and there. Not a care in the world.

Then you awake, and indeed you are you.

Did you really dream you were a butterfly?

Or somewhere in the universe is there a butterfly, dreaming it is you?

(courtsey: to the one who wrote this... yeah i don't know who.)

Roads of India

I was wondering how ladies of the past who conformed to the *"rules of good lady", managed to be so...
Well, let me explain the basis of my doubt. I was walking from the cafeteria towards my work place... I was alone and lost in thoughts... so, i was staring at the road while walking... There was a profile of a Toad (hey this is not some DW tool, it is a real toad)... poor thing got smashed by one of the cars parked there... Yuck!!! So, I had to walk the way Mahakavi Bharathi (a well known patriotic tamil poet) wanted from a "Pudhumai Pen" (like me ;-)) : "Nimirntha Nadayum, Nerkonda Paarvaiyum" (that means, "Strides that are erect and a look that is straight" don't ask me if those old ladies had a crooked way of walking and looking... they just bent their heads down)
This made me think of our Indian roads. Don't ever dare to look at the road while walking, even out of "adakkam" or "thoughts" especially when u r @ chennai. you'll end up vomiting... As the road belongs to every man here... He makes use of it perfectly... as his dustbin, W.C, or a place to throw off his mucus... (to be fair, replace he with she wherever it is applicable)

* There was a tradition in India that women should walk with their heads down, (don't worry there was not much traffic in those days!!!, they won't be hit by tanker lorries ;-)) and Subramaniya Bharathi, A great poet protested. And tried to save women from this plight.

Weekend!!!

I cursed myself for sleeping all the time... Hence I decided to go to odyssey hoping to spend my time usefully!!! (atleast by staring at those unbought books!!) i happened to see this book "The joy of laziness" ;-) It had some facts like how being lazy reduces heart problems and helps you live a longer life!!! I was so tempted to buy it... but something in me screeeeeeeeamed... "you don't have to justify ur laziness meena!! u know damn well that its wrong!!! what is the use of living longer if u are wasting ur life out of laziness???!!!!! @#$%&" well... it sounded reasonable. Had to listen to that part of me. Still couldn't resist buying a book... finally bought "The Alchemist" - Paulo Coelho. Have read this excellent book b4 (thanks to my friend who lent it to me)... Now i'm a proud owner of it!!!

"I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires."

Dedicating my first post to my master and love, Kahlil Gibran.